Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
