My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
