brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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