she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
