I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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