Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize