u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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