Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
