TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
