Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
