Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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