Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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