I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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