i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
