What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
