ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
