I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
