I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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