The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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