I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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