I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
