where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize