i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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