well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
