hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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