is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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