There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
