I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize