Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I love you.
Bad choice
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
