What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
