we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You are a genius and a whore.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
