Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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