I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
