I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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