Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize