that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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