Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
