Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
