I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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