What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you traded sex for a burrito?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize