similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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