My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I could fuck to npr.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
