just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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