I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
