So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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