How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
