Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
