Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just gift wrapped bread.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
