none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
