I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wear drunk well.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
