Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it glows. i had to have it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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