Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I love having hate sex.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
