Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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