i barfeds in our rink
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
